DON'T GET MARRIED
son, don’t marry an actress
unless you’re looking for a terrible time
she'll have flings while she's waiting in the wings
and you won't know when she's lying
and don’t you marry a writer
you won’t be able to afford any dinner
then she’ll write down your most private conversations
and stick them in a booker prize winneroh mum, thanks for the advice
if i fall for a writer i’ll be sure to think twice
that kind of life doesn’t sound very nice
think i’d rather not get married at allson, don’t marry a lawyer
she’ll twist all your words into a knot
and of course if you get a divorce
you’ll end up with diddly-squat
and don’t you marry a doctor
they’re always called in the middle of the night
and you won’t want to say“honey, what did you do today?”
or you’ll lose you’re appetiteoh dad, thanks for the advice
if i fall for a doctor i’ll be sure to think twice
that kind of life doesn’t sound very nice
i’d rather not get married at alloh but son, you’ve got to find a wife
you’ll regret not having kids later in life
we don’t care who you marry
just as long as she makes you happy but…
son, don’t marry a therapist
she’s sure to drive you mad
just by looking in your eyes she’ll try to analyse
problems you never knew you had
and son, don’t you marry a musician
you’ll be entering a world of pain
married life will become a competition
and you’ll drive each other insanewell mum and dad, i listened to your advice
and the future’s not so bleak
i’m in love with an unemployed alcoholic
and we’re getting married next week
© david schweitzer 2003