CALM, COLLECTED & COOL


i’m a stress case
it’s well known
my body doesn’t have a laid-back bone
but i’ll share a little secret with you
when i wake up one of these mornings
i’ll be somebody new

well it might not happen tomorrow
and it might not be the next day
but it won’t be long til i’m singing a new song
in a super-slack laid-back funky-ass way

and i won’t be a worrier
a panicker, a hurrier
tripping on my toes and falling on my feet
i won’t be a mutterer
a stammerer, a stutterer
i’ll be the kind of person everybody wants to meet

cos i’m gonna be calm, collected and cool
yes i’m gonna be calm, collected and cool
no one will have expected me to change
they’ll find it strange
to see me calm, collected and cool

my friends won’t believe a change so drastic
they’ll say “where’s david, that loveable spastic?”
i’ll say he’s gone and he won’t be coming back
but i’ve arrived, give me five, cut me some slack

and i won’t apologise for being apologetic
and i won’t say i’m sorry that i even exist
i won’t be manic, i won’t be so frenetic
i won’t be a neurotic exhibitionist
cos i’ll be

calm, collected and cool…

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© david schweitzer 2002